That Slate article was painful, so many young kids these days are so exposed to the worry and doom that seems more pervasive all the time. I'm sure you've had no end of advice, but speaking as a farm kid who turned into more of a techie (GenX), maybe Ash could use some time in a place where the world is smaller, and your daily worries involve chores, garden, chickens, cooking, and fishing... It is a grounding experience to actually participate in the lives of plants and animals, see where your food comes from, and actually labor to make it so.
I could not agree more. Ash is a born naturalist (like the grandma she is named for was), and I am always looking for opportunities for her to be out in nature. Luckily too, my brother is a farmer and my sister lives in rural Maine, so we try to get to see them as much as possible. Thank you for writing - you are very very right!
I was heartbroken, reading your article in Slate. Our son had similar troubles, but also, of course, unique. It sounds like you are an amazing parent and I know how anguishing it can be to do everything by in your power to help but feel like it isn’t enough. Our son is 24 and mostly ok now. Looking back I wonder if I could have worried less about him getting behind in school and maybe kept him home for a year. Intensive outpatient exposure therapy was brutal but cured the panic attacks. Gender transition helped. We do much better now at always being on his side even when his behavior is frustrating. But even looking back we still don’t know what is best. Keep reminding yourself that Ash is so lucky to have you on her side, and try to take care of yourself.
I just read your article about your daughter in Slate magazine and felt everything you went through as we experienced something very similar with my son. Did anyone investigate the possibility of PANS/PANDAS (autoimmune encephalitis)? I couldn’t close the article without reaching out to you. That diagnosis saved my son’s life and it was a simple case of giving him antibiotics when nothing else worked.
That Slate article was painful, so many young kids these days are so exposed to the worry and doom that seems more pervasive all the time. I'm sure you've had no end of advice, but speaking as a farm kid who turned into more of a techie (GenX), maybe Ash could use some time in a place where the world is smaller, and your daily worries involve chores, garden, chickens, cooking, and fishing... It is a grounding experience to actually participate in the lives of plants and animals, see where your food comes from, and actually labor to make it so.
I could not agree more. Ash is a born naturalist (like the grandma she is named for was), and I am always looking for opportunities for her to be out in nature. Luckily too, my brother is a farmer and my sister lives in rural Maine, so we try to get to see them as much as possible. Thank you for writing - you are very very right!
I was heartbroken, reading your article in Slate. Our son had similar troubles, but also, of course, unique. It sounds like you are an amazing parent and I know how anguishing it can be to do everything by in your power to help but feel like it isn’t enough. Our son is 24 and mostly ok now. Looking back I wonder if I could have worried less about him getting behind in school and maybe kept him home for a year. Intensive outpatient exposure therapy was brutal but cured the panic attacks. Gender transition helped. We do much better now at always being on his side even when his behavior is frustrating. But even looking back we still don’t know what is best. Keep reminding yourself that Ash is so lucky to have you on her side, and try to take care of yourself.
Thank you so much Betsy. It sounds like you have been an amazing parent to your son, and I am so glad he is doing well. Sending light your way.
I just read your article about your daughter in Slate magazine and felt everything you went through as we experienced something very similar with my son. Did anyone investigate the possibility of PANS/PANDAS (autoimmune encephalitis)? I couldn’t close the article without reaching out to you. That diagnosis saved my son’s life and it was a simple case of giving him antibiotics when nothing else worked.
Thank you for reaching out! We're definitely investigating autoimmune and related disorders.